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  THAIWARE Dharma | International Religious article by isnare.com
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How To Save Your Marriage In 6 Easy Steps

 

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If you are in a state of anger, hurt and frustration over your failing marriage, then you really need to focus on the many different ways that you will find on how to save your marriage.

Here are some tips to help you save your marriage. If you can put these into action then you will have started the recovery process. It will not be the total solution because there are many steps to marriage resolution, but you need to begin somewhere.

1. Recognizing the dangers of anger
All to often marriages end up in divorce not because the love and caring has gone, or it is simply too late, but because not enough effort was put into the relationship to save it. Anger is one of the biggest culprits of preventing marriage break up solutions. Anger leads to miscommunication and non-communication in that order.

2. Miscommunication
When a couple starts to drift apart, and for whatever reason their marriage is breaking down all of the emotions start to run out of control. Anger, hurt and frustration start to rule the marriage instead of love, trust and honesty.

After a while both parties start to look for faults in their partner to be able to justify their negative emotions. This begins the miscommunication process.

For example, you may be hurt or angry over something your spouse said or did the night before. The next morning at breakfast you are quiet and reserved. Your spouse not being aware that last night was the issue assumes that he/she has done something wrong this morning to upset you.

Now they become frustrated and angry because they can't figure out what they have done wrong. There has been a miscommunication here, and if you want to learn how to save your marriage then the first lesson to be learned is how to communicate again.

3. No communication
If you want to learn how to save your marriage the first thing you need to do is recognize how you arrived at the point of no communication. This is a difficult level for a marriage to be at.

In order to save your relationship there has to be positive actions taken. These actions require communication, but if there is none then you have nothing to start the healing process with.

Therefore, before attempting to do anything else to save your marriage, you have got to start the communication going again. This doesn't mean resorting back to the stage where the yelling matches were taking place.

You also have to realize that your spouse may not be at the point right now where they feel they need to work on the relationship, or may feel so hurt and angry that they feel that its too late. If this is the case you are certainly going to need to put some good communication skills into action here. This will be difficult at first perhaps because you will feel hurt and rejected when your spouse doesn't respond.

Get yourself to a position where all you want to focus on right now is building the communication skills, don't look at the end results of trying to figure out how to save your marriage totally at this point. In order for that to happen you will have to take one step at a time, and building communication right now is the first step.

4. Make the first approach
Approach your spouse and tell them that you are intent on figuring out how to save your marriage and that you really want to make this work, and that you would like to start by communicating in a positive way.

5. Make a truce
Try to get your partner to agree that there will be set times where you will talk about the marriage issues, but aside from those times there will be no discussions about the problems. If you want to know how to save your marriage there has to be some common ground.

6. Set up talk sessions
First think about the beginning of your marriage where you used to be able to spend hours communicating with each other over many wonderful topics. In your talk sessions, make one session for dealing with issues, but arrange for other times where you decide to talk about anything except the issues.

To learn how to save your marriage you first have to learn your communication skills to put your relationship back together.

 

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